Wow my resolution lasted for less than a week! I dont really have an excuse other than the last week I was in Liverpool Street and 2-3 hours commuting really takes it out of you. But I do enjoy my new part time job.
Have been rejected from 4 law firms. And one interview coming up for a firm I really really want to work for. I have two weeks to prepare and I think the group sessions are my real downfall. That and my lack of commercial awareness.
Plan for this week. Will be in work experience, lunch times I will finish 'All you need to know about the City' and in the evenings I will be doing searches for the firm and the cases they have done. And then the second week I can focus on commercial awareness and interview questions.
My diet went downhill since I started working in London, I would go in an hour early just in case I missed my train (Weird!) and that would mean I would pig out for breakfast in cafes and waste money. But I walked home not that that made a difference. Now I only have two weeks remaining until the wedding. I just feel far too 'naked' when writing my diet habits on here. I will write in on my other blog and try and fill this one with more useful things like Current Affairs, Cultural topics and my amateur philosophy.
Also have decided to take a year out and search for a job. I decided this last week but am yet to defer.
SO if anyone knows a solicitor who is looking for a eager PA/secretary/paralegal please give me a shout :D
Ciao xxxxxx
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Elia Kazan - America America
A true story about the dream of one young man to bring his family out of the shame and submission of the Turks in Anatolia. The film covers the beginning of the Armenian and Greek genocide of the early 20th century.
The only time I've ever cried as much as I did in this film was in the Pianist.
The ending left me with a bittersweet taste...What had started off as a selfish journey turned into selfless acts being repaid. It was partially a bildungsroman but so much more...
But the kissing of the ground upon arrival in America?
I mean Elia Kazan (real name Ilias Kazantoglou) was very fond of the idea of America being the place of freedom, of opportunity....hence the short glimpse of the statue of liberty from the ship, whilst many are figuratively and literally surrounded by bars.
I am told that this image inspired that truly spine chilling shot in the beginning of the Godfather Part II.
But I've never been able to align the two images of America in my mind. That which I get from the very history of America (16th - 19th Century 'Indian policy reductions' which in simple terms means ethnic cleansing) and this image we get from books like F Scott Fitzgerals in 'The Great Gatsby'. But perhaps that is the very point. America is simply an image. Nothing more. An image is not tangible...It can be seen, in one's mind...But whether the reality is as we visualise it, is separate to that image we think we see.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE6n-Rg8N1w
The only time I've ever cried as much as I did in this film was in the Pianist.
The ending left me with a bittersweet taste...What had started off as a selfish journey turned into selfless acts being repaid. It was partially a bildungsroman but so much more...
But the kissing of the ground upon arrival in America?
I mean Elia Kazan (real name Ilias Kazantoglou) was very fond of the idea of America being the place of freedom, of opportunity....hence the short glimpse of the statue of liberty from the ship, whilst many are figuratively and literally surrounded by bars.
I am told that this image inspired that truly spine chilling shot in the beginning of the Godfather Part II.
But I've never been able to align the two images of America in my mind. That which I get from the very history of America (16th - 19th Century 'Indian policy reductions' which in simple terms means ethnic cleansing) and this image we get from books like F Scott Fitzgerals in 'The Great Gatsby'. But perhaps that is the very point. America is simply an image. Nothing more. An image is not tangible...It can be seen, in one's mind...But whether the reality is as we visualise it, is separate to that image we think we see.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE6n-Rg8N1w
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Day Three (and day two)
No no I haven't given up...Just came home rather late last night.
Yesterday I was cleaning the house for a good 6 hours so got a real sweat going buttt was bad as I had a little bit of pitta at night time.
Today have cooked
But I have been bad as I was tempted by two pieces of dark chocolate. But it is better than what I usually do...which would involve consuming the entire box.
...and am going BMF later so am keeping up the good work. Just need to drink a little more water, and sleep a little bit earlier.
Next week will determine whether I can get through the next few weeks.
Hopefully I can. :)
xxxx
Yesterday I was cleaning the house for a good 6 hours so got a real sweat going buttt was bad as I had a little bit of pitta at night time.
Today have cooked
But I have been bad as I was tempted by two pieces of dark chocolate. But it is better than what I usually do...which would involve consuming the entire box.
...and am going BMF later so am keeping up the good work. Just need to drink a little more water, and sleep a little bit earlier.
Next week will determine whether I can get through the next few weeks.
Hopefully I can. :)
xxxx
Dictators and the Arab Spring (in brief)
Had a rather interesting conversation with a certain indivdual that claimed 'Saddam Hussein was a hero.' I replied with 'I would spit on you but my better judgment tells me not to.' Not quite sure why my inner savage/villager comes out when offended. He also claimed that 'Chemical Ali was a mere illusion' one of course which he claimed was a fiction created by the Americans and the British. Snore. His arguments were unfounded, vague and completely lacking in humanity.
A dictatorship is a dictatorship. I was trying to compare the Arab Spring to dictators of old (hence my Hussein reference). I find it abhorrent that because a select minority have benefited from the lunacy of dictators that they now venerate them!
We only have to look at Gaddafi supporters who agree to the massacre of their own people (Gaddafi has suggested it is Western propaganda that is depicting the illusion of civilian uprisings) to see a general pattern.
Gaddafi has, according to the UN, administered Viagra type drugs to his soldiers for the very purpose of raping women. And this man started off his revolution 4 decades ago in order to BENEFIT his country. Some messed up logic going on.
If your family and your own skin is being saved...you will do anything...as long as you are fed, clothed and paid.
Is this true for everyone?
If you were put in a situation where your country faced mass unemployment, economic sanctions from the rest of the world and were given a job which appeared humane (e.g. working for an oil distillery) would you take it? And then would you support the man which had given you the job?
Would you support said man no matter what?
I believe humanity and human rights, which have come to be venerated in our modern society have always been universally true. I don't agree with theories that 'human rights differ globally'. I think what differs is the relative importance of each right.
eg for some the most salient right is to live and be able to work.
For Western countries it is more likely to surround equality for the disabled, sexual orientation and race.
I think all too often people are blinded by fascism. What people often forget, who have been brainwashed by nationalism, is that we all share 99.9% similar genetic make up.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galations 3:28)
A dictatorship is a dictatorship. I was trying to compare the Arab Spring to dictators of old (hence my Hussein reference). I find it abhorrent that because a select minority have benefited from the lunacy of dictators that they now venerate them!
We only have to look at Gaddafi supporters who agree to the massacre of their own people (Gaddafi has suggested it is Western propaganda that is depicting the illusion of civilian uprisings) to see a general pattern.
Gaddafi has, according to the UN, administered Viagra type drugs to his soldiers for the very purpose of raping women. And this man started off his revolution 4 decades ago in order to BENEFIT his country. Some messed up logic going on.
If your family and your own skin is being saved...you will do anything...as long as you are fed, clothed and paid.
Is this true for everyone?
If you were put in a situation where your country faced mass unemployment, economic sanctions from the rest of the world and were given a job which appeared humane (e.g. working for an oil distillery) would you take it? And then would you support the man which had given you the job?
Would you support said man no matter what?
I believe humanity and human rights, which have come to be venerated in our modern society have always been universally true. I don't agree with theories that 'human rights differ globally'. I think what differs is the relative importance of each right.
eg for some the most salient right is to live and be able to work.
For Western countries it is more likely to surround equality for the disabled, sexual orientation and race.
I think all too often people are blinded by fascism. What people often forget, who have been brainwashed by nationalism, is that we all share 99.9% similar genetic make up.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galations 3:28)
Monday, 1 August 2011
Fatty Diaries
Day 1....
Please God, let me stick to this one thing and I will believe in myself...maybe...
Today got the media job sorted...and was subsequently rejected by a law firm I had been for an interview for. I had rather arrogantly believed I would get accepted there.
The worst thing wasn't the rejection, it was my good friend calling and asking with a bitter tone whether I had got a training contract.
Money does this to people. Well no we all have a choice in the matter....
Anyhow did an hour and a half stint at the gym plus 4 miles walked :) (in lieu of BMF)
Food equally was fairly good except for being force fed at a Greek house (fooking standard!)
Leon sweet potato falafel
Fresh lemonade
Stuffed vine leaves x6
Two apples
And a bit of cheesecake (chez Greeks :@)
Tomorrow is clean up day.
Please God, let me stick to this one thing and I will believe in myself...maybe...
Today got the media job sorted...and was subsequently rejected by a law firm I had been for an interview for. I had rather arrogantly believed I would get accepted there.
The worst thing wasn't the rejection, it was my good friend calling and asking with a bitter tone whether I had got a training contract.
Money does this to people. Well no we all have a choice in the matter....
Anyhow did an hour and a half stint at the gym plus 4 miles walked :) (in lieu of BMF)
Food equally was fairly good except for being force fed at a Greek house (fooking standard!)
Leon sweet potato falafel
Fresh lemonade
Stuffed vine leaves x6
Two apples
And a bit of cheesecake (chez Greeks :@)
Tomorrow is clean up day.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Training Contracts....Please...Anyone?
So today marks the passing of yet another TC application deadline.
31st July.
My bum is very numb from having spent the last three weeks mainly procrastinating, fretting about not having a job, and also applying for paralegal positions and training contracts.
I have been very very lucky in having applied for only two placements and having been called for an interview (so far).
But I have had to eat humble cake in my complete and utter failure when it comes to numerical tests. Rejection numero uno.
Still have not applied to the SRA, but perhaps that is a blessing in disguise.
Ofcom may be on the cards and other media companies until I find paralegal job/tc....
But I realised I have to majorly fix up in terms of organisation, numeracy, current affairs and general amazingness!
So tomorrow is August 1st and I will be able to start blogging every day about my fitness and feeble attempts to cut sugar and bread out of my life :P
Lots of love
xxxxxx
31st July.
My bum is very numb from having spent the last three weeks mainly procrastinating, fretting about not having a job, and also applying for paralegal positions and training contracts.
I have been very very lucky in having applied for only two placements and having been called for an interview (so far).
But I have had to eat humble cake in my complete and utter failure when it comes to numerical tests. Rejection numero uno.
Still have not applied to the SRA, but perhaps that is a blessing in disguise.
Ofcom may be on the cards and other media companies until I find paralegal job/tc....
But I realised I have to majorly fix up in terms of organisation, numeracy, current affairs and general amazingness!
So tomorrow is August 1st and I will be able to start blogging every day about my fitness and feeble attempts to cut sugar and bread out of my life :P
Lots of love
xxxxxx
Friday, 29 July 2011
Mid Year Resolutions (plus one-two months?)
The world of work and law studies
No longer can I cling onto old laureates. Received my law results...and am not really surprised that they were below average as I struggled throughout the year to pull the grades up. But hey a commendation is a commendation....
I shall have to do MUCH better when it comes to the LPC.
And here my indecisive, fear-of-taking-risks-self kicks in...To defer or not to defer.
I don't want to keep abusing bank of Mummy and Daddy especially if I have no chance of getting into the legal sector.
Yet most paralegal jobs ask for the LPC/BPTC...I have found that nepotism can launch you a huge way, even in London. According to one solicitor I was "naive and narrow minded" for thinking nepotism doesn't operate in big Cities all around the world.
Deferring would be sensible as I don't yet know whether a corporate machine or a mid-brow commercial sect will take me on board. I know what modules I would want to do, but they are all mainly "niche" areas.
Anyhow I technically have only two days to decide...
Meanwhile only two days left to bombard law firms with my tc applications of why "I am amazing" and "would be a kick-ass commercial lawyer" and blah and blah. Self prostitution anyone?
Job and moneyyyyyy
Hopefully have a part-time job sorted out. So hooray for that! And thank you to my good friend that sorted that out for me. (See nepotism really does get you everywhere)
Cancelled my overdraft in early July as bank informed me they would be charging me interest as apparently I am no longer "a graduate". I have in fact been a student for the last year but red tape meant I was being sent from department to department in order to confirm this. And was never confirmed. Probably me being too lazy to go into London, get a letter from my college, when there's a branch on my door step!
So money from job will mean travel paid for, my uber expensive waxes, odd haircut, make up, mobile and of course the masses of drab black clothes I wear in an attempt to make myself blur into the background of dull faced commuters.
But job will mean no late Friday nights, or Saturday nights...and no church :(
Sad times. I miss church.
Fashion for a pear shape?
Just read about Ms. Poppy Dinsey and she is such a stunner! And so dedicated and successful at a young age.
Actually sat there oggling at each and every photo of hers...Great figure too. Ms. Dinsey if you are reading this please style me?? I promise to pay you heaps of money as SOON as I become a hot-shot IP and media lawyer. What do you say?
Girls with hour glass figures can literally wear everything...Uber jealous.
Actually I'm more pear at bottom and a little bit banana at top plus extra stone of blubber...probably not the easiest to style.
Anyhow she has inspired me to write on a daily basis.
Not that I believe in star signs but Aries "apparently" are notoriously good at starting things and never finishing them! This is ME all over.
Also true, unfortunately, "they like to supervise and organise more than actually working " and "They are not the tidiest of people and they are impatient with details, except when engaged upon their special subject; then Arians can fiddle around for hours"
Also I know many Geminis ...all v good at hiding their inner selves!
And every good relationship has been with a Sagittarius (all three bfs in fact!)
Nevertheless I started to say "I do not believe in star signs" and would quite like to prove to myself (and perhaps my non-existent readership) that I CAN see something through that does not involve my "academic" career.
Goals...Start simple
1. Write every day for 30 days on this blog. It needn't be lengthy. Two lines a day will do.
2. Exercise for friend's wedding...I have to wear a sari! Eeek - more likely to look like a jewelled whale. Again 30 days.
3. Avoid avoid avoid Daily Mail gossip. I swear a book commits suicide and a thousand brain cells die every day that I read this trash. I like looking at pretty pictures. I am an addict. And it goes against EVERYTHING I believe in.
But pretty pictures will not get me a job. Or a training contract.
Read the BBC/FT/Economist on the regs! Hopefully new job will be a great advantage to me.
4. Clean out my closet!
Need help from friends for this one...Only they can be objective.
5. Once I have money - get hair cut! Hair is feeling so drab and lifeless at the mo.
6. Do something good for the community. Helping the aged has always been my dream but never had a chance to do it.
Also would like to spend Christmas with the homeless :)
Mummy and I will do this, this year (I hope!)
7. GET A TRAINING CONTRACT!!!!
8. Go out once a month, it is healthy!
9. Play my bling bling bouzouki more :P and my forgotten clarinet.
Any advice party peoples?
Facebook and Internet addiction
Deactivated Facebook abut 4 months ago now. I very nearly re-activated it the other day. But then I thought of all the hideous picture I have on there. And how I would spend hours looking at my pretty and successful friends, and feel sorry for myself.
I think self-pity is revolting on others and I think as much when I do it. So have removed myself until I become successful at at least one of two of my goals.
The main two: 1)lose weight and 2) gain a training contract....
Maybe 3) get a bf....will eventually come ....someday.
:)
No longer can I cling onto old laureates. Received my law results...and am not really surprised that they were below average as I struggled throughout the year to pull the grades up. But hey a commendation is a commendation....
I shall have to do MUCH better when it comes to the LPC.
And here my indecisive, fear-of-taking-risks-self kicks in...To defer or not to defer.
I don't want to keep abusing bank of Mummy and Daddy especially if I have no chance of getting into the legal sector.
Yet most paralegal jobs ask for the LPC/BPTC...I have found that nepotism can launch you a huge way, even in London. According to one solicitor I was "naive and narrow minded" for thinking nepotism doesn't operate in big Cities all around the world.
Deferring would be sensible as I don't yet know whether a corporate machine or a mid-brow commercial sect will take me on board. I know what modules I would want to do, but they are all mainly "niche" areas.
Anyhow I technically have only two days to decide...
Meanwhile only two days left to bombard law firms with my tc applications of why "I am amazing" and "would be a kick-ass commercial lawyer" and blah and blah. Self prostitution anyone?
Job and moneyyyyyy
Hopefully have a part-time job sorted out. So hooray for that! And thank you to my good friend that sorted that out for me. (See nepotism really does get you everywhere)
Cancelled my overdraft in early July as bank informed me they would be charging me interest as apparently I am no longer "a graduate". I have in fact been a student for the last year but red tape meant I was being sent from department to department in order to confirm this. And was never confirmed. Probably me being too lazy to go into London, get a letter from my college, when there's a branch on my door step!
So money from job will mean travel paid for, my uber expensive waxes, odd haircut, make up, mobile and of course the masses of drab black clothes I wear in an attempt to make myself blur into the background of dull faced commuters.
But job will mean no late Friday nights, or Saturday nights...and no church :(
Sad times. I miss church.
Fashion for a pear shape?
Just read about Ms. Poppy Dinsey and she is such a stunner! And so dedicated and successful at a young age.
Actually sat there oggling at each and every photo of hers...Great figure too. Ms. Dinsey if you are reading this please style me?? I promise to pay you heaps of money as SOON as I become a hot-shot IP and media lawyer. What do you say?
Girls with hour glass figures can literally wear everything...Uber jealous.
Actually I'm more pear at bottom and a little bit banana at top plus extra stone of blubber...probably not the easiest to style.
Anyhow she has inspired me to write on a daily basis.
Not that I believe in star signs but Aries "apparently" are notoriously good at starting things and never finishing them! This is ME all over.
Also true, unfortunately, "they like to supervise and organise more than actually working " and "They are not the tidiest of people and they are impatient with details, except when engaged upon their special subject; then Arians can fiddle around for hours"
Also I know many Geminis ...all v good at hiding their inner selves!
And every good relationship has been with a Sagittarius (all three bfs in fact!)
Nevertheless I started to say "I do not believe in star signs" and would quite like to prove to myself (and perhaps my non-existent readership) that I CAN see something through that does not involve my "academic" career.
Goals...Start simple
1. Write every day for 30 days on this blog. It needn't be lengthy. Two lines a day will do.
2. Exercise for friend's wedding...I have to wear a sari! Eeek - more likely to look like a jewelled whale. Again 30 days.
3. Avoid avoid avoid Daily Mail gossip. I swear a book commits suicide and a thousand brain cells die every day that I read this trash. I like looking at pretty pictures. I am an addict. And it goes against EVERYTHING I believe in.
But pretty pictures will not get me a job. Or a training contract.
Read the BBC/FT/Economist on the regs! Hopefully new job will be a great advantage to me.
4. Clean out my closet!
Need help from friends for this one...Only they can be objective.
5. Once I have money - get hair cut! Hair is feeling so drab and lifeless at the mo.
6. Do something good for the community. Helping the aged has always been my dream but never had a chance to do it.
Also would like to spend Christmas with the homeless :)
Mummy and I will do this, this year (I hope!)
7. GET A TRAINING CONTRACT!!!!
8. Go out once a month, it is healthy!
9. Play my bling bling bouzouki more :P and my forgotten clarinet.
Any advice party peoples?
Facebook and Internet addiction
Deactivated Facebook abut 4 months ago now. I very nearly re-activated it the other day. But then I thought of all the hideous picture I have on there. And how I would spend hours looking at my pretty and successful friends, and feel sorry for myself.
I think self-pity is revolting on others and I think as much when I do it. So have removed myself until I become successful at at least one of two of my goals.
The main two: 1)lose weight and 2) gain a training contract....
Maybe 3) get a bf....will eventually come ....someday.
:)
Thursday, 14 July 2011
Alone
Each time he had a different face
A different excuse
Yet here, once again, she collects the scars.
Countless times she has rummaged in the red
And cream pools
But never did she find it.
In alleways, in dark hotels, in car-seats
She scavenged with dirty nails
But each time she was blinded by darkness.
The first time left a gaping hole.
Tears were her respite.
Curses her daily nourishment.
Every person an enemy.
An emptiness which took with it breath and life in itself.
It never did come.
Five years passed.
From the carcasses she supped.
Determined to endure without it
Her tear ducts a drought.
Birds and knells silenced.
Her pen had run dry long ago
Yet
One day like any other day
Barely visible tongues
Lit up
Her gaunt body.
Now she is thankful
for each different face her pilgrimage,
her shrine.
Each departure inevitable, a different excuse.
Her body still a shadow.
Every breathing foreign word her curse.
People her enemy.
But her pen flows.
A different excuse
Yet here, once again, she collects the scars.
Countless times she has rummaged in the red
And cream pools
But never did she find it.
In alleways, in dark hotels, in car-seats
She scavenged with dirty nails
But each time she was blinded by darkness.
The first time left a gaping hole.
Tears were her respite.
Curses her daily nourishment.
Every person an enemy.
An emptiness which took with it breath and life in itself.
It never did come.
Five years passed.
From the carcasses she supped.
Determined to endure without it
Her tear ducts a drought.
Birds and knells silenced.
Her pen had run dry long ago
Yet
One day like any other day
Barely visible tongues
Lit up
Her gaunt body.
Now she is thankful
for each different face her pilgrimage,
her shrine.
Each departure inevitable, a different excuse.
Her body still a shadow.
Every breathing foreign word her curse.
People her enemy.
But her pen flows.
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